BBC 6 Music Podcasts.
6 Music.
This is a free download from the BBC.
Find out more at bbc.co.uk slash 6 Music.
And now, Adam and Joe.
Hi, this is Adam.
Hey, this is Joe, and welcome to this week's special highlights podcast of our 6 Music radio show.
Is it a special one?
It's special again.
It was special last week.
This week is even more special because it's had its right leg chopped off.
So it needs close attention.
No, it's special because it's featureless.
It is special, really, because we didn't bother this week with any songs for Song Wars.
You keep saying we didn't bother.
That is incorrect from an advertising perspective.
You're correct.
That's the wrong spin to put on it.
We were too busy.
to do songs of any decent quality this week?
We put them through a very tough quality filter, is what we did, because we actually did write songs.
You wrote two even.
The beginnings of them.
Yeah, but that's all you need, isn't it?
And I got pretty much the whole way through my... Did you?
Peace song, yeah, until I realised that it was...
A piece.
A piece of something else.
It's a load of piece.
We didn't really have Text the Nation this week either.
We were canvassing ideas for song works.
No, we just played the jingle.
Yeah, it's a kind of sort of simulated, a placebo, right, Text the Nation.
Just to trick people into thinking it was there.
Like a feature, if you play the jingle just while you're talking.
So all that to look forward to.
But you know, it did mean there was lots of time for extra chittle-chottle.
Exactly.
And people love both the chottle and the chittle.
They love it.
There's plenty of that.
Hope you enjoy this delicious condensed can of them.
See you in a bit.
Hello and welcome to the big British castle.
We hope you're having lots of jolly fun.
Please obey the rules when you're inside the castle.
Or we'll jolly have to throw you jolly out upon your arse.
I was moving house this week, that's one of the reasons, that's my excuse for not having prepared more and not having done my Song Wars song, and in the process, of course, I had to throw a lot of things away.
I haven't moved house for years, and this is obviously the first time I've moved house with a big family, so there was a lot more to move.
And man, there was a lot of stuff to throw away.
And it's always a good opportunity to do some clearing.
I don't really like to throw anything away.
If it was up to me, I would hoard everything.
I'm like a kind of stinky old man.
I've got boxes and boxes of Mojo magazines and turds.
Your own turds.
My own turds.
They're all wrapped up in cellophane.
No, I don't have that.
Labeled, numbered.
At least that would be lighter than the boxes of Mojo mags that I insisted on moving with me.
Right, you keep your back issues of Mojo, do you?
Got them all.
Have you ever referred to one?
Yes.
Have you?
Do they publish index magazines?
Because in the old days, when magazines used to sell you binders, and they would expect you to archive them, they would come out with index issues every few years, yeah?
Sight & Sound, the BFI mag used to do that, didn't they?
Or they would just have an index bit at the back of one of their issues so that you could treat it like an encyclopedia.
Do Mojo do that?
I don't believe they do.
Well, they should do it.
They should absolutely do it.
Do it.
Because otherwise it renders my collection insane.
Well, I think the collection is insane before proven non-insane.
You should talk to my wife, Joe.
She agrees with you.
Really?
Absolutely.
What did you use it to look back at?
Do you remember?
You know, I especially use it whenever I get the flu.
It's not as if it's contemporary information, either.
I just like reading, because they're timeless articles of such great quality.
about bands old and new, that it's a joy to dip in whenever you feel.
Really?
I really enjoy it.
Does your wife do that with Grazia?
No, she's not allowed.
I throw them away even before she's read them.
Really?
So she didn't move with her Grazia collection or her now and closer collection in the ring binder made of human skin.
But beautifully made up.
Human skin but amazingly powder puffed.
So anyway, I didn't throw my mojos away because there's all the crosswords in there that I haven't done yet, which I'll get round to.
However, I did throw away other things that I have been hoarding for years and years and years, including
Um, things that I thought might come in useful, you know?
Now, you always keep things like this, like screws, you know?
Little weird screws.
Very useful.
Bits of wood.
Yes.
Knobs.
You know, strange brass knobs.
Foreign money.
Tins of food.
bottles of booze, strange booze that you bought like years ago for a party.
You can't throw these things away.
You can't throw away half a bottle.
In this day and age, you'd recycle them anyway.
You might free-cycle them.
Right.
Put them on the free-cycle website.
You could recycle the tins of food maybe, but a half-drunk bottle of Archer's Peach Schnapps, that might keep someone alive.
There might be some sort of a vagrant who is teetering on the edge of death.
A cocktail vagrant.
It's just a little bit of beach slap.
I'd love a fuzzy!
That's all I need!
Could you lend us 10p for a fuzzy navel?
Please!
Curtains as well, like if you've got some old curtains.
Curtains.
And you think, oh, I can't throw away the curtains.
I'm going to have to put them in the box because you never know.
Recycle them.
Right.
Curtains are expensive.
There are curtain exchange centres.
No, there aren't.
Yes, there are.
We got some curtains from a curtain exchange centre.
A little bit pukey.
But they do the job.
That's not true.
They weren't pukey.
But no, curtains are expensive things.
Right.
Well, you know, I threw away a lot of the curtains.
Good ones.
I mean, this time I just thought, finally, I'm going to have to throw away these.
Claire's looking at me like I'm a hobo.
These curtains.
Other things that are difficult to throw away.
Things that you think might have sentimental value.
Right.
Right?
So they don't actually have sentimental value.
But you think, well, this is the kind of thing that probably should have some sentimental value for me, like old passports, certain types of low quality children's drawings, you know, because not all drawings by children are good.
A lot of them are rubbish.
Because they just haven't got the skills.
Is that what you say to your children?
Yeah.
Hey, Frank.
Do you have a star system?
Frankly, I'm going to give this one two stars.
Because it doesn't look like anything.
You say it's me and mummy, but that's clearly not me.
I don't look anything like that.
Mummy's hair is not like that at all.
Look at mummy.
Look at her.
does she look like that now get out that's how it goes in on a sunday afternoon at the art class it's horrific at our house it is horrific so we throw away those pictures obviously cards things like postcards and letters and stuff like that you think well it seems it seems wrong to throw away these um birthday cards because you don't immediately throw away birthday cards right or do you
No, you're right, cards do gather up.
And you think, well, I can't throw away the birthday cards, I'm going to have to keep them there.
Cut the backs off, reuse them.
That's the Blue Peter solution.
Wedding invites.
The Blue Peter solution.
That's a good film title.
With Matt Damon.
Wedding invites, you wouldn't throw those away, would you?
Yes.
No.
Yes.
The wedding invite of your best buddy getting married to Tina.
After all those years, it's such a happy day.
Certain types of photographs that are slightly blurry maybe and not that good.
They're not very good photographs.
Oh, you can't throw away a photograph.
even if it's blurry.
It's the only one I've got of Michael when he's all in, you know, in them days.
Throw away that blurry Michael.
Oh, Michael.
So you throw that away.
Other things?
Things that you don't know, things you don't really know what they are.
You haven't really assessed their value.
Like, for example, legal documents, utility bills, things like this.
Oh, better keep the legal documents.
There's an official limit for those though, isn't there?
Like something like seven or eight years or something.
Where do you get that?
In my brain, you've got to keep them for a certain... legally.
Yeah.
Keys?
Old keys?
Old keys.
Oh, man, those mount up, and you never want to throw those away.
There's a door to every key in the world.
Well, exactly.
Don't throw a key away.
How's the person going to get in the thing that the key's for?
You know, throwing keys and throwing money away... Is there a national key bank?
There must be.
Data bank.
Yeah.
There probably is.
There should be.
Because it feels totally wrong to throw any kind of money, foreign currency, anything like that.
And the same with keys.
Other things, things that were so expensive when you bought them that you just never considered throwing them away, even though you don't use them anymore.
For example, old computers is the big one.
And it's very hard to even recycle old computers, you know?
You can't give them to schools or anything like that.
I mean, you can.
I bet you can.
But no, no, most schools, they're fairly snooty about it now.
Someone somewhere will want your computer.
You can't even chuck computers on the dump anymore.
They say, no, we don't want the computers.
Is that true?
Yeah.
You have to get the council to remove the computers.
VHS players, things like that, you know, they might be in totally good working order, but they're just hanging around.
You don't want to get rid of them.
Other things, things that were faulty or damaged or had bits missing.
And you always thought, well, I might repair this one day.
Have you got any stuff like that clustering up your house right now?
Possibly.
You know, you always have things like that.
Toys and lamps and bits of furniture.
So what are you doing with all this stuff, Adam?
What's the end of this story?
Well, the end of the story is I threw them all away.
I threw all of these things away.
Where?
In a dump?
In a big landfill.
And I threw them into the middle of the road.
Really?
I stood there naked, screaming.
You threw them in my street, didn't you?
No, I properly, I disposed of them in the correct way, got the council to help me with some of them, went to the dump with some of the other ones, took a lot of stuff to Oxfam, like bits of old clothing that I've had for years and years and years.
That's the correct ending of the story.
I think all the stuff you've just mentioned is all recyclable.
Yeah.
And reusable.
And in this day and age, the very idea of throwing away something away is archaic.
Right, exactly.
Popcorn maker?
Yeah, throw that away.
And you can be there for a couple of hours before anyone talks to you, and then when you're returning the thing it might take even longer.
I'm sure we've discussed this before.
Possibly.
But anyway, I tried a different one this week.
Well done.
I won't say the name of the company.
I will call it instead Colonel Kurtz Car Hire.
It doesn't bode well.
No, you would think not.
But I was very pleased.
Really?
And it was enjoyable.
But one of the things I noticed on the wall while I was waiting, not very long to be served, was a poster advertising the fact that you can hire cars from them, and I'm sure you can do this in most rental companies, that come with DVDs in the back of the seats for the kiddies in the back.
Right, little telescreens.
Little telescreens.
and you can put your DVD on there and pacify the kiddles, which is great for a long journey.
But they'd kind of framed the advertisement for this service like a film poster, you know?
Clever.
I was struck.
by the cleverness.
And it said, uh, in-car DVD system now showing in a Kurtz car near you.
Wow.
Like a film poster.
Yes.
In big capitals.
And then beneath that, they'd done, like, fake review quotes.
Right.
You know, from what I assume was a made-up family that had been using this car.
So the first one was just five stars in quotes from the Hobson family.
So they talked to the Hobson family and they just said, we've talked about it, we're going to give the in-car system five stars, but I don't want you to put the word five stars, I want you to do it with just asterisks.
Yeah, that's how the Hobsons rate things.
Exactly.
The Hobsons rate things on a star level.
They're very specific.
They've recently gone up to six stars.
They very seldom use the six, but it's important it's there just in case something extra special comes along.
Like Time Out.
Like Time Out.
That's what makes Time Out so special for the intellectuals, because they use the extra star.
They've got a different rating system.
Then there were specific reviews from some of the Hobson family.
Joe, aged nine, said, I never wanted it to end.
Right.
That's unusual because kids usually can't wait to get there.
Exactly.
Joe never wanted it to end because he was having such a good time.
He'd be happy if there was a nuclear Armageddon and his family just spent their whole time driving around.
Wouldn't care.
If people were just fighting in the streets for oil, the one precious commodity left.
Dad tricked out the car with various knives and guns.
And they just spent their lives roaming the derelict streets of post-apocalyptic Britain.
He wouldn't care.
He'd still be watching Cars on the in-car DVD system.
It would be a little bit like, what's that incredibly bleak film by the guy that directed The Green Mile?
Oh, The Mist.
The end of The Mist.
It would be like The Mist, with him just watching Cars on his in-car DVD system.
So Joe, aged 9, loved it.
I never wanted it to end.
Abbey, aged 39, presumably the mother of the Hobson family.
Now she's the older daughter.
Anyway, she said the kids loved it.
Right.
They absolutely loved it.
The kids loved it.
She was very pleased about it.
She's not a very bright woman.
Why not?
Because she's just covering old ground.
I mean, that was made clear by Jo's rating, wasn't it?
Exactly.
I mean, the kids obviously loved it.
Mum, anyway, you can't hold stuff like that against mums.
They're so busy.
They haven't got time to... Plus think, what's her problem with it?
Why didn't she love it?
Because of what they were watching.
You know, could she not just go round and sit between them and watch a bit of Cars herself?
She wasn't driving.
Abbie never drives.
They weren't watching Cars.
Were they not?
No, that doesn't entertain kids these days.
Right.
Horror porn.
They were watching Saw 5.
She finds it disgusting.
Well, Natalie, aged seven, the youngest member of the Hobson family, says... Little Nat-Nat.
Yeah, she says, pure entertainment.
Right.
Now is that really something a seven-year-old would say?
She's not talking about the in-car system.
She's talking about smack.
Right.
Some really high-grade smack she got in the playground.
She's the youngest junkie of the Hobson family.
No, that's not true.
She's not talking about smack.
She's not talking about that.
She's talking about the in-car DVD system, but she's using the phrase pure entertainment.
Yeah, she's fed up with the impure entertainment.
Is that how children really talk these days?
They like purity.
They're like little Nazis.
Did you like Kung Fu Panda, Tommy?
Pure entertainment!
Five stars!
I never wanted it to end!
That is how they talk.
Have you seen Kung Fu Panda?
Yeah.
It's alright, isn't it?
It's wicked.
It's getting amazing reviews.
It deserves them.
It is wicked.
Well, it's not that wicked.
The bit where he's breaking out of the prison.
I wanted it to end.
Did you?
Yeah.
You want to get an in-car DVD system.
That'll change.
It actually changes the films.
Mind the Gap.
Yes, Mind the Gap.
Now, you don't subscribe to the Week magazine, do you?
No, but it's a very popular magazine.
One of the few magazines whose circulations went up in the recent, I don't know what they call them, magazine ratings.
The gossip mags are going down.
Heat magazine's taken a big hit.
Is it?
So's Q. Empire's up, though, and the Week is up.
Right.
Well, if you don't know, it's a kind of a digest of all the... It's for people who can't be bothered to read the papers or watch the news every day, right?
Exactly.
It's popular with DJs, and I get it.
Even though I don't read it, I buy something else that condenses the most important parts of the week into a tiny pamphlet.
Really, the Beano?
It's called the Extremely Weak.
Adam's holding that magazine, and it's in such a state as it can only live in your toilet.
It does, yeah.
It's weird how magazines that live in the toilet just get, well, they look as if they've been dampened dry again.
Well, I read it in the bath, yeah.
Do you?
So the edges get a little bit damp, and then I have to dry them out with a hairdryer.
Really?
And then I iron it.
You haven't ironed it very well.
It's a little wrinkled.
But I was struck by a sort of little editorial, in fact this guy Jeremy O'Grady is in fact the editor-in-chief of The Week, and he writes a strangely candid confession at the front of this about the fact, inspired by the fact that Boris Johnson recently was at Gatwick Airport and was unable to
Finders luggage his luggage has gone missing and it was on the news apparently that Boris Johnson was stood there and was upset about it as people are when their luggage goes missing Bojo apparently said we stood in hell about hit the experience and
And Jeremy O'Grady, Editor of the Week, says, precisely the same fate befell me last summer.
Only not being mayor, I unwisely took fate into my own hands.
I vaulted the baggage handler's counter to seek out a British Airport Authority official, collided with one who'd been hiding from irate passengers in the back office, and, shameful to relate, was soon grappling him to the floor.
No!
Two hours later, ringed by three Uzi-clad policemen with forearms the size of fire extinguishers, I was given the usual grilling.
He's honestly used to doing this kind of thing.
In brackets, why do they always want to know your mother's maiden name?
O'Grady is basically just goes from one confrontation to another and ends up being threatened by Uzi, uh, Uzi-toting cops asking his mother's maiden name.
Five hours after landing, I was let off with a caution for trespassing.
I finally went through customs, still minus my luggage.
I mean that, I would say, is on the extreme end of a little confrontation, wouldn't you think?
What did the guy do to provoke a physical attack, I wonder?
He was just fed up with his bags going missing, maybe for the umpteenth time, you know?
And he thought, right, this time I'm gonna vault over the desk and grapple the guy to the ground.
Because that'll almost certainly have no serious consequences in an airport.
You know what I mean?
If Peter Buck and what's-your-man-from-the-Stone-Roses go to prison for about five years for just swearing at someone on a plane, what are you doing vaulting over after...?
He got off lightly.
I would never physically attack someone if I was in a situation like that, when a service that I'd paid for hadn't been adequately delivered, and maybe the person that should be delivering it was being a bit surly.
I would use my passive-aggressive powers.
Do you know what I mean?
My Paddington Bear powers.
Just some really well, you know, timed stares.
Some deeply sarcastic half sentences.
Do you think you're going to get the same?
Are you going to get results though?
I mean, this is the thing.
The guy didn't get any results.
O'Grady didn't get his bags back, but he did have the satisfaction of it.
having landed a lamp which sometimes is what you want because not to be encouraged though absolutely no no you'll go to prison especially in the airport I mean that I just can't believe that that seems to suggest that things are a bit more lax and lackadaisical than I'd thought in Great Britain you you're just allowed the opening of a fight right you're allowed the initial launch
and both of you on the ground.
I don't think he got very far before the Uzi totally- That's good to know, isn't it?
You'll get let off with a caution if you just, if you do the jump and the pullback.
With the arm.
He grappled him, I think it went beyond the pullback.
Grappling's alright.
A little scuffle.
Really?
Yeah, he had him on the ground.
He was pulling his shirt and stuff and ruffling his hair and maybe he may have got his knees and sat on his arms and done the typewriter on his chest.
Get my bag!
Get my bag!
When will you get my bag?
Who does that?
Bullies used to do it to me.
Bullies?
Didn't you ever have that done to you?
The typewriter?
The typewriter?
oh adam buxton you're so thick and then and then they would go smack they would smack you on the side of the face for me uh for the what's it called the thing going across you know on an old-fashioned carriage yeah wow did that never happen to you i want to do that to you
That happens to me all the time.
My chest only has two keys.
Shift and return.
Is that left nipple, right nipple?
Yes.
We might be able to turn this into Text the Nation, I'm not sure, in which case we'll play our jingle later on, that's exciting.
But I was curious to know if anyone else out there, I mean, if O'Grady's, you know, the editor-in-chief of The Weep magazine, one of the most successful magazines... What are we asking people though?
Not what level of assault have you got away with.
Kind of.
That's not a suitable textination subject.
We're not encouraging it, but I'm curious to know.
We are sad to announce that there is no Song Wars.
Because at about 9.30 yesterday evening, Adam and I had a text exchange in which we both came clean that we were having such a miserable time trying to do it.
We were writing peace songs.
We were just torturing ourselves.
I'd started two and abandoned both for being unplayable.
Unlistenable.
How did yours start?
What was the best one like?
It's hard to say what the best one was it was sort of a folky thing right, but it just sounded sort of sincere yeah, and Icky and Then there was another one that was kind of aliens singing to the planet Earth mm-hmm about not getting in trouble But that was awful as well.
It's a good idea.
That was a dirge well It's difficult to be glib about world peace isn't it because it would be nice if there was world peace and
But when you start being glib about it, you get into all sorts of difficult areas, don't you?
Exactly.
So we gave up.
We mutually agreed to give up.
Yeah, although we should bring in our efforts next week anyway.
Mine are very short.
Yeah, well that would be funny, let's just play like 10 seconds off them.
But we'd love your suggestions for Song Wars, particularly an idea for something where the lyrics are found, thereby making it easier for us.
Like before we sang the lyrics to the IKEA Meatballs song, the IKEA Meatballs cooking instructions.
And that worked very well.
That was enjoyable because you got a place to start then.
Couldn't anybody out there think of a similar idea?
Some kind of found text?
And it has to mean something to everybody, like we've thought before of just having listeners send in lyrics.
But there's something a bit exclusive about that.
Yeah, it's difficult.
As soon as you get into people's poetry and their own lyrics, it becomes insane in an unhelpful way.
So yeah, it could be like a review of a film, or an advert, text from an advert, or something that you've found, you know what I mean?
Or if you've got a favourite show or something that you think needs a new theme song, something that would unite the listenership in amusement.
How about, and this is my favourite one from Nicola, how about the Neighbours theme tune?
Well that's a good idea.
So she's suggesting a new Neighbours theme tune, what about the Blue Peter theme tune?
They changed that the whole time.
Blue Peter gets changed all the time, Doctor Who gets renewed, doesn't it?
But is the tune the same still for Blue Peter, i.e.
is it still the hornpipe or whatever it's called?
It's probably some kind of street dance remix.
But it's still essentially the same tune.
It's not like Grange Hill where they had a completely different tune.
Grange Hill's cancelled now, so that would be a pointless enterprise.
If we did a new Bluebeater theme, sorry to keep interrupting, I'm excited, but if we put lyrics to it, they might use it.
with still that same tune, right?
Could be, it could be a variant.
Oh my gosh, it is time for Bloop!
That kind of thing.
Yeah, yeah.
Obviously that's a bad start.
And you're taking Bloopeter over Neighbours, are you?
I don't know, my mind's just going all over the place.
But Neighbours would be good as well, because they changed that, didn't they?
Is it even a song anymore?
It must still be the same.
We're out of touch with student and teatime telly.
Who was it, Tony Hatch did the Neighbours theme, I think?
Something like that, but that's quite a good idea.
Some more suggestions include, how about a song about all the rooms in Jet Set Willy for the ZX Spectrum, says Ricardo in Edinburgh.
That would be fun for Ricardo in Edinburgh, but baffling for everybody else.
Stew in Bed in Henley says, how about putting the Lord's Prayer to music?
That's not a bad idea.
I don't know, again, if we were irreverent with that, that might insult some people and break some castle rules.
somebody else said about the quran no one could get offended by that yeah that's true that's a good idea you do that next week i'll drop out of that just talking andy leopard from doncaster says and a couple of people have suggested that we write a song to what policemen say to you when you get arrested that's never happened have you actually been arrested no i've been questioned
But not for a while.
Not since I was a naughty teen.
Well, exactly.
The last time I ran into trouble with the cops was probably when we tried to nick a breakfast club poster off the tube wall, I think, about 25 years ago.
Right.
Jemima has suggested a new EastEnders theme song.
Please, it's been the same for ages.
EastEnders, that's not a bad idea.
The lyrics to that, that must have been done.
I still like the New Neighbours song idea.
Yeah, you think that's the best one so far?
So far.
Although I'm torn between that and the Matrix Revolution speech.
Right.
I'd go for the Neighbours out of those two.
Yeah.
Someone's suggesting that I write a song about you and you write a song about me.
But that involves writing the song.
That's difficult as well, yeah.
Yeah, it's a good idea though.
Oneway will definitely do that.
Here's a good one though, finally.
Gemma Kemp says, how about using the synopsis from everyone's favourite women's mag and lady brain rotter, Grazia.
This is taken from their website.
Open quotes.
Life-changing stories can gallop past us, delicious gossip can flutter and die, and fashion trends that are hot today are gone tomorrow.
We all want to keep up with this changing world, but we want to make it easy, and we want it now.
Like us, you want to know about the latest trends, gossip, fashion, and news in easy bite-sized pieces.
You want to read the kind of interviews and reports that make you think seriously about your own life.
You want to find something fabulous to wear on a Friday night, or something quick, but spectacular, to cook for friends.
You need easy, chic ideas to help you simplify your frantic life and, this is the most important bit, you don't want to wait a whole month for them.
This is speaking directly to me.
So welcome to Grazia, Britain's first weekly glossy.
It goes on.
Everything we do is of the moment.
We will give you the story behind the story in this week's news.
No, everyone's giving the story behind the story.
What about the story itself or the story in front of the story?
Who's doing that?
I think... Heat.
We will open the door to the world's most glamorous parties and catwalk events just days after they've happened.
Days?
How many days?
We'll investigate the big issues of the week and interview the stars in the news as it happens.
I think it's possible that Gemma might be making it up at this point.
But that's pretty good, isn't it?
I really like that, yeah.
Gemma Kemp, that is a powerful idea.
I've put that at the top of my list now.
We're both very keen on Grazia.
Grazia Synopsis is a brilliant idea.
I'm not sure for the reasons they'd like us to be keen on it.
Because of the font.
Now, Joe Cornish, you're obviously very pleased about Team GB.
It's been such an exciting week for me as a big sports fan.
Team GB are a glowing, miraculous light in the darkness, aren't they?
They're a flaming beacon of sporting hope.
However, how many of Team GB can you name?
I mean, both Joe and I are unusual in being extremely non-sporty.
Jonathan Runcent.
Runcent?
Jonathan Runcent, he's the middleweight hurdler.
Yeah.
Theresa Tripp.
What does she do?
She's a middleweight hurdler as well.
Right, right.
Do you have middleweight hurdlers?
You do now.
Does the weight matter?
No, I don't know any of them.
I tell you who I do know.
Do you not know a single one?
There's the lady that looks like a dolphin.
Right.
Uh, there's her.
The Bottlenose Lady.
Bottlenose Bettina.
Well, there, I mean, who's the most famous one?
The most famous one is the guy that's winning loads.
No, the most famous one's the Jamaican one, Bolt.
That's a good, memorable name, because he runs like one.
Lightning Bolt.
Phelps is the American one.
Yeah.
He's got all the goals.
You must know one from Team GB.
Oh, yes I do.
Little Tommy Tinkerbell.
The diver.
Little Toddy Pipkins, the ten-year-old diver.
Ronnie Runbot.
Good luck Toddy.
I've been learning a lot about diving.
What about Christina Ohurugu?
No.
You know her, she's the lady that... Who's she?
She looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Total Recall.
Is she a weightlifter?
After he's popped out onto the planet and there's no atmosphere.
Really?
The moment he's about to explode, exactly.
What does she do?
She's the one, she won gold for the 400 metres, was it?
Running.
Yeah, she was running all over the place.
Hi, this is A Sexy Woman, and you're listening to the highlights of the Adam and Jo BBC Six Music show.
Ooh, this podcast has got me so hot.
I'm too hot, I'm gonna have to sit down and take off my cardigan.
Ooh, I'm boiling.
If you look at pictures of Richard Ashcroft and The Verve, is he still with The Verve or is he soloing?
Yes, we just played The Verve for goodness sake.
Come on, come on.
Catch up.
Catch up with me if you can.
When you look at pictures of him and the band, they're always arranged so he's in front obviously.
Yeah.
And the guys behind look angry.
You know, they may not even be behind.
The thing is that Spadeface is so giant, he might be about eight feet behind them and he's still towering above them.
Well, no, he's definitely in front in the photo I saw and they just didn't look happy about it.
Do you ever look at photos of bands like that and see how the photographers positioned them and imagine the moment in the room when the photographer said, yeah, Steve, you just step out in front a little bit and Tony just moved behind.
No one says anything, but inside they're going...
Absolutely.
You must have spoken to bands about that kind of thing.
I know I have.
I've talked to, because I'm obsessed by that sort of thing.
Really?
And I've spoken to a couple of people in bands, you know, a couple of bassists, a couple of drummers.
Who are really annoyed about their positioning in photos and artwork.
Yeah, and had that conversation.
One particular guy I'm thinking of from quite a well-known band, I'm obviously not going to say which, and he went off on one.
One afternoon I was chatting to him and he said,
Yeah, it was a pretty bleak time, I must say, at one point.
And there was this photo that came out, it was a big photo, and I was right on the edge.
And everyone else was, like, really far.
You could hardly see me.
I was miles at the back, and the photographer said, yeah, go and stand, like, way down there in the road.
It'll look really cool.
no really am i gonna have to stand i always have to stand at the back well have a look at photos of the verve because i don't think they're a happy bunch well you think ashcroft is is just too prominent but then you get the other i didn't even know he was still with them i thought they just happened to be in the background stalking him for residuals who's only necking miss
Now, as many people might have noticed, it's a bit of a thin last couple of weeks for films.
What are you talking about?
Hellboy 2?
That's the blockbusting hit of the summer.
That's got amazing reviews.
No, it's very exciting.
But, you know, there hasn't been much amazing good stuff released in the last couple of weeks apart from Hellboy 2, because the screens are dominated by the two behemoths of the summer.
The Dark Knight, a brilliant, gloomy film about terrorism.
And the other behemoth of the summer, Mamma Mia.
Oh, I thought you were going to say, don't mess with the Zohan.
No, that is good though.
Supposed to be good.
I quite recommend that.
No, the other massive unstoppable hit is Mamma Mia.
Mamma Mia.
The film version of the ABBA stage musical, and I'd been resisting going to see it, but my daddy, who is a very clever man, and he sort of gave me my love of cinema as a child, but he used to be into
You know, Visconti and Louis Malle, Eric Romare.
You know, a very sophisticated taste in cinema.
He is addicted to the Mamma Mia.
Does he love it?
He's seen it that many times.
Wow, four times?
I know.
He loves it.
So does my mum.
They can't stop watching it.
So did they go and see the theatre production?
No.
No?
No.
It's all about the film.
all about the cinematic experience.
So I thought I'd better find out what was going on, what the deal was.
Plus you love Bronhom.
I do love Pierce Bronhom.
Yeah.
I do think he's one of the most remarkable actors in circulation.
I do.
You'll take any bit of Bronhom going.
Dante's Peak, one of my favourite films.
You love it.
So I thought this is a must see for the Cornballs.
Yeah.
So I went along to try and see it at the Brixton Ritzy and this is what, six weeks after its initial release, sold out.
Of course it is.
Not a seat in the house.
6.20 show.
So I went to see it at the Odeon West End.
Very nearly sold out.
Sat in the very front row.
Oh my god.
Loved it.
Are you going to see it?
Well no, it was low on my list.
In terms of listeners, it's probably 50-50.
Some will have seen it, they'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
I had it jostling for importance with the Sex and the City movie.
I haven't seen that yet.
Mamma Mia, you've got to see it.
It's like a massive amateur dramatic production with stars in it.
You know, it's as if they didn't rehearse the dancing, they haven't really rehearsed the script, they've had to shoot it in a terrific rush, but that's all forgiven because of the sheer exuberance and joie de vivre.
It's like going to see your kids in a school play and finding that Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan and Hugh, what's his name?
Fernley Whittingstall.
What's his name?
The man from St Trinian's and everything.
Colin Firth.
Hugh Colin Firth.
And all the big stars are in it.
And it's just amazing.
There's dance sequences that are so in capture, just the joy of spontaneous, non-choreographed dancing, that you can't fail to be swept away.
The audience I was watching it with were pure, it was almost entirely female, five or six quite confused, angry men sitting there.
But then as the film goes on, you realize that you have to give into it.
There's no point in sitting there being a stick in the mud.
You've got to capitulate to the pure, raw power, and raw it is.
And I just ended up loving it.
And were you satisfied on a Bronhom loving level?
Well, Bronhom sings a couple of the songs.
And people had said that he sings them really badly.
People in the reviews had said, look, when Bronhom comes on, you won't believe the pain on his face when he's singing.
The singing on Bronhom.
Bronhom has trouble squeezing out dialogue lines in a relaxed way.
And that's part of his magic.
He's a good grunter.
But I was very pleasantly surprised when I heard him sing S.O.S.
So I bought a clip from the soundtrack.
So here's a clip of Bronhom singing S.O.S.
and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
I think it's good.
Yes, that's very impressive.
It's a bit out of tune, but he's really belting those lines out.
I love Brosnan.
I think I'm in love with Brosnan.
You love Pierce Brosnan?
I think he's amazing.
So there you go, a little weird ramble through our minds this week.
We promise you next week we'll be back at the top of our game, which isn't particularly impressive.
You're going for next week, are you?
At the top of the game, yeah.
I was going to build up to getting back to the top of our game.
When I say top of the game, we will have features in place.
I was going to say, like, by the end of October, we'll pretty much be at the top of our game again.
Is that when we're going to peak?
Yeah.
I think we've peaked.
No, we have peaked, that's what I'm saying.
Really?
This is a little bit of a decline and by the end of October we're going to be, you know, Team GB right back on top.
And we hereby swear on the founding stone of the big British castle that next weekend we will have a solid idea for Text the Nation and some hilarious, there's an asterisk by that word, I'll come to that later, songs.
Based on articles from Grazia magazine.
Asterisk.
Hilarious is an acronym standing for... Oh my gosh.
I... lever... No, I can't think of an acronym.
Come on, you gotta stick... Oh my gosh.
I lever... I lever?
It's like ever with an L on the beginning.
What's wrong with I love?
Oh my god.
I love Adam... Rand...
Yeah, no, I can't do it.
You do it.
Oh my gosh.
I love Adam remembering in remembering it on It's not Ulster sausages
No one said it was going to mean anything.
It's just an acronym.
As long as it doesn't imply that the songs are going to be actually funny.
Exactly.
Then we're okay.
Listen, have a good week, folks, and we'll be back with an amazing program for you next Saturday.
Don't forget you can listen again on the 6Music website or you can listen to the show live every Saturday morning from 9am till noon.
We'll see you next week.
Bye.